


Don't Let Me Go

by Mrsacedoctor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel in Purgatory, Dean Has Realizations, Dean Winchester Realizes His Feelings For Castiel, Dean in Purgatory, Dominant Castiel, Emotional Dean, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mostly Smut, Purgatory, Purgatory Sex, Purgatory!Verse, Some Fluff, Submissive Dean, destiel smut, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 08:43:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6045223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrsacedoctor/pseuds/Mrsacedoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Purgatory had always felt pure to Dean. Everything was out in the open. Dean didn't realize how open until he was with Cas again. There was no going back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet was inspired by this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpG54yZF2pE  
> It is now one of my favorite Destiel videos. It is so well edited and I highly recommend watching it. 
> 
> I am firm believer that something happened between Castiel and Dean during their stay in Purgatory. Here is what I believe happened.

Dean looked up into the nearly pitch black sky. Blinking several times, he willed his eyes to adjust to the darkness of Purgatory’s lifeless sky. The ground beneath his back was stone cold and dead, there was no heat, no breathing, like there seemed to be back home. Even the trees that line the edge of the clearing they’d found were more like brittle bones reaching into an empty abyss. The only thing that had any life seemed to be his own beating heart. 

And Cas. Though by this time, Dean had accepted that they were practically one and the same. After spending god knows how long, fighting and scratching his way to get to his best friend, Dean had realized that if it had been anyone other than Cas, he probably would have just started for the portal right away. But it had been Cas. It had been the one person, angel, whatever you want to call him, that Dean felt for other than Sam. 

At first he thought that it had just been admiration and friendship, as Cas was the one to save him from Hell. But as the years went on, it waned into something different. Something that Dean hadn't realized until he saw Cas in that clearing, his face dirty and his eyes lonely. As he had wrapped his arms around Cas’ body, the feeling of utter relief was more than Dean had expected. He thought that he was going to have a breakdown at the realization, but it hadn’t felt scary nor surprising. It had felt  _ right _ .    


Dean shifted so he was in a seated position and looked over to the light that caught the corner of his eye. And there Cas was. Sitting cross-legged, hands in his lap, eyes in a distance with a forlorn expression over his disheveled face. The light from a small fire bounced over the falls and curves of his face like haunted hands. Dean knew what he felt. He knew what to call the lightness in his chest when he looked at his best friend. He knew what to call the feeling that extended beyond camaraderie when the angel was near. He knew what to call every fiber in his bone pulling him towards Castiel right at that moment. 

He brought his legs underneath him and rose, seemingly not of his own accord. They pulled him over to Castiel, net to the fire, and planted them next to him. Dean noticed that Cas’ eyes didn’t so much as register his presence and bent down to sit next to him. 

“Cas?” Dean placed his hand tentatively on his shoulder, basking in the electricity and warmth that shot up his arm as he did. 

Cas seemed to come back to reality as he blinked slowly a couple of times before calmly turning his head towards him. “Dean?” 

Dean smiled fondly, grasping the shoulder under his palm slightly tighter. “Hey, man, are you alright?” 

Cas’ eyes met his and focused back and forth. “I am. Are you?” 

He smirked and scoffed, “Of course I am.” He tried a smile but he felt the fakeness and absurdity as if it were a clown mask. 

His friend’s eyes sunk and his fingers came over Dean’s own on his shoulder. “No, you’re not.” Cas’ eyes held such emotion in them, such concern. Dean felt his mask breaking and his smile faltering. The longer Cas looked at him, the more naked he felt. He forced himself to look away from Cas’ face, his cheeks blushing deep with shame. 

It wasn’t until he felt a hand come over his cheek that his eyes rose from the spot they were staring at. Cas’ palm gently brought his face back to wear it had been and Cas looked at Dean with a rawness that Dean had never seen before. 

“What is the matter?” Cas asked softly, respectfully. 

Dean felt his lip quiver despite his attempts to be calm. “I failed, Cas.” The words slipped from his mouth before he can bottle them up. 

Not even missing a beat, Cas follows with, “What do you mean?” 

Dean searches his face with any signs of deception, but all he sees is the man who he has fought thick and thin for in this unholy, godawful place, looking at him with such concern. The weight of his burdens crashed down on to his shoulders all at once. “I failed,” he choked out, “I should have found the portal by now. I should be home by now.  _ We  _ should be home by now.” 

“Dean, this is not your fault. You will survive this, you will get back home. I promise you,” Cas’ voice dripped with a compassion and sympathy that Dean hadn’t experienced towards him since. Since ever. The way Cas was looking at him, the fondness, the concern, the overwhelming sensation of being  _ loved  _ flooded Dean’s mind. 

Before any other thought crossed through his mind, before he could stop and think about the effects his actions could have, Dean moved his arm from Cas’ shoulder, gracing and cupping the man’s face, and angling it slightly upward he pressed his lips to the angel’s. The kiss was chaste and innocent, only a soft contact of their mouths, but it held all of the momentous, pent up emotions that Dean had been bottling up since that hug near the lake. 

To his relief and astonishment, he felt Cas’ lips recover from surprise and sink into him. He gasped as the hand that had be a ladle against his cheek, moved up and curled around the nape of his neck. As a tear rolled down his face, he came off of Cas’ lips to breathe. Coming up to breath felt like the exact opposite, there was no relief from removing his face, there was only an ache for more. A need to explore and taste what he has only dreamed of in his farthest thoughts. And again, before he knew what he was doing, he kissed Cas again. 

Only this time is wasn’t so innocent. Dean pressed his lips with a passion he’d never felt. he prodded Cas’ open with his tongue. Cas was more than willing to open up as he spread his mouth and allowed for Dean to enter. His fingers clenched the back of Cas’ neck as he brought his face against his even more. God help him, he let out a moan as Cas’ tongue slid against his. 

It became clear to Dean that even though he was the one who initiated the kiss, Cas was the one with all of the control. It was Cas who knotted his hands into Dean’s hair and tugged and prodded. It was Cas who pried his mouth as wide as it would go and licked the lining of his teeth. It was Cas who bit Dean’s bottom lip and sucked it as if it was the last thing he would ever taste. It was Cas who dragged his hands down Dean’s back and around his thighs. It was Cas who brushed his hands over Dean’s crotch. 

Dean hissed at the contact, but pressed against the friction of Cas’ hand, feeling himself beginning to strain against his pants. Cas’ hand kept moving down the inside of Dean’s thigh but Dean took it and placed it back over his sensitive groin, encouraging Cas to keep feeling there. As Dean passed over Cas’ unshaved neck, licking and nipping along his lawline, and suckng on his throat, Cas palmed over his dick again and Dean let out a sigh that felt more like a whimper. Fingers kneaded and traced along the growing formation of Dean’s erection, the pressure growing more confident with every stroke. Dean bucked his hips into Cas’ hand as it ghosted over with ease.

Dean bit slightly into Cas’ now exposed shoulder as Cas asked, “Would you like me to stop?” 

Dean pulled back a little bit. “Not in the fucking slightest.” Dean kissed Cas earnestly again, his fingers clutching at Cas’ face as they weaved through his beard. His face was dirty and grimy but Dean didn't care. All he cares about was the feeling that was coursing through him. This desperation, this  _ love  _ for Cas as their bodies fit together and their lips moved over each other. 

This time it was Cas who moaned and Dean shuddered as he felt Cas’ fingers dip underneath his jeans. He felt the tugging motion as Cas gently pulled down and glided his fingers over Dean’s exposed skin. Fire ignited underneath the touch and Dean pressed forward on Cas, taking Cas’ thigh between his, desperate for relief against his arousal. He felt a small victory as he noticed that Cas’ dick was stiff as well. 

Mimicking Cas’ movements, he brought a hand down off of his face and pressed it against Cas’ clothed cock. He slid his palm over the bulge and pressed ever so slightly, rewarded when Cas let out a hissing whimper of approval. He was even further rewarded as he felt Cas’ fingers slowly unzipping his pants, hands gentle yet urgent. 

Dean let out an exasperated moan as the cool air of Purgatory breezed by over his stiff cock. He felt the potential energy that his untouched cock held as it stood freely in the open, feeling ripe and sensitive without even being touched. Desperate for relief, Dean pressed his thighs closer to Cas’ trying to rub against him. When that wasn't enough, Dean took Cas’ hand, which had gone to resting on his hip. 

“Touch me, Cas,” Dean mumbled against the angel in between heated swipes of their lips, “See how much I want you.” Cas followed in suit as Dean took his hand and wrapped it around Dean’s rock hard dick. Dean cried out in the pleasure of feeling Cas’ calloused yet smooth hand move over him. He assisted the man in getting a grip and a rhythm that was overwhelmingly hot. “Yes,” Dean moaned out as Cas pumped him, “Just like that.” 

Dean felt himself become lost in the sensation of Cas’s hand moving insistently and eagerly over his cock, pleasure and gratification surged through his entire being with each individual stroke. He threw his head back and cried out as Cas applied more pressure at the head. Dean fell back onto his palms so his chest faced the sky. He felt himself flood with an overwhelming sense of just  _ being  _ and thrusted earnestly into Cas’ hand, each one becoming more and more rigid and jerking. Heat was beginning to build in his lower back, right behind his spine. With each drive into Cas’ fist, the heat became more intense. Dean knew that he was close. 

He sprung up, still thrusting into Cas’ hand, and brought his arms around the back of the other man’s neck, pulling him down into a greedy and demanding kiss. He licked the edge Cas’ lips and bit softly into his bottom one, teasing it with small nips. There was no greater feeling that Dean had ever felt than in this moment. He had told Benny about how Purgatory felt pure but he didn't realize how pure until this moment, being under the control of an angel’s hands while he was in the most vulnerable state he had ever felt himself be in. Despite this he felt no fear, no hesitation. Just  _ love  _ and  _ pleasure.  _

He moaned at a slight press of the slit of his dick and bucked his hips. He was rewarded with faster pumping from Cas’ hand and soon Dean was gripping the back of Cas’s neck until his knuckles turned white. He could feel his eyes blurring with tears as the sensation and heat and movement and atmosphere kept building and building and building with each and every goddamn jerk of Cas’ hand over his shaft. 

It all came to a final halt as Dean screamed out “Cas!” Followed by stutters of loud cries of pleasure and his body went rigid. White lights burst behind his eyes as his dick stiffened and his balls strained as he came hard and fast, cum streaming out like it never had done before. Dean gasped and cried as Cas continued to move his hand languidly over and over, coaxing Dean through his orgasm. Dean shuddered with ecstasy and found himself sobbing as he collapsed into Cas’ arms. 

Cas removed his hand from Dean’s crotch in order to embrace him. Dean clutched onto Cas like a life line and just let himself  _ feel _ . He knew that this shit with Cas wasn't a joke. It was more than that. It was more than love, even. It was this sense of belonging and togetherness. 

“Don't ever let me go, Cas.” Dean managed to choke out against Cas’ dirty trench coat. 

“Never, Dean.” Cas promised. 

But what Dean couldn't see was the expression of utter heartbreak across Castiel’s face as he hugged his friend tighter. What Dean didn't know was that Castiel had no intention yet every intention of letting him go.  
  
What neither of them knew was that moment of letting go was sooner than they thought. 


End file.
